By Rev. Ronald P. Raab, C.S.C.
On September 15, the Universal Church celebrates Our Lady of Sorrows. This profound image of Mary forms our life and ministry in the Congregation of Holy Cross. Our Lady of Sorrows is our Patroness. She holds our life, vision, ministry, and prayer in her bold posture of leaning into the suffering of Jesus.
Our feast day holds much spiritual treasure. If we have the courage to explore her role in our community, we all will be changed. This treasure is not confined to our inner lives as a religious community but opens us to how we serve people and the communities we help form. I have learned in these past fifty years that Mary’s role and posture toward suffering is the key to our spiritual well-being and our care for the needs of people.
The Seven Sorrows of Mary are scriptural moments where Mary stands in the center of Jesus’ suffering. These moments are identified in the gospels. The foundation of Our Lady of Sorrows is as follows:
The Prophesy of Simeon from Luke 2.
The Flight into Egypt from Matthew 2.
The Loss of the Child Jesus from Luke 2.
Mary meets Jesus on the Way of the Cross. Not in scripture, but in the Fourth Station of the Cross.
The Crucifixion of Jesus from Matthew 27, Luke 23, Mark 15, and John 19.
Jesus’ Descent from the Cross from Matthew 27, Luke 23, Mark 15, and John 19.
The Burial of Jesus from Matthew 27, Luke 23, Mark 15, and John 19.
In my forty years of priesthood, I have ministered among various groups of marginalized people. Their anguish invites me deeper into the mystery of Mary’s posture toward sorrow. Pain that cannot be healed, forgiven, or changed reveals Mary’s role in the Church. Human isolation and grief cannot be wiped away or changed overnight. This image of Mary is not morose, hopeless, or tragic. I find Our Lady of Sorrows immensely hope-filled and joyous to bring to situations of excruciating poverty, addiction, or illness. When I want to flee the sorrow of others or become impatient with my loss, I allow Our Lady of Sorrows to offer me consolation, advice, and a new path toward helping others. If I befriend the mystery of Our Lady of Sorrows, I find her in ministry in places I least expect.
A woman spoke to me of her son’s death. She had the image of Our Lady of Sorrows tattooed on her chest. Cremated remains of her son were embedded in the swords of the image. From her experience of beginning the tattoo, she claimed that the first sword hurt the most. Mary’s first moment with Simeon’s comment must have hurt the most.
A thirty-something recovering addict told me he had the name “Mary” tattooed on his chest because he realized Mary, Our Lady of Sorrows, would not abandon him. His biological mother sold him for sex to men to earn money for drugs. He believed in Mary as a faithful mother and healer of his life.
A young father came to my office and told me a story about his newborn son. He dedicated his son to Mary because his mother was abusive. He wanted his son to grow up with the love of Jesus Christ and a mother figure of compassion. He spoke with deep love about Mary, Our Lady of Sorrows. He understood deeply in his heart that Mary would not abuse his son.
Over and over again, I find people who have seen the miracles and the beauty of Mary, Our Lady of Sorrows. This image of Mary is not wishy-washy, abstract, or whimsical. She grounds us in Christ as she stands next to the suffering of Jesus. She challenges us to do the same. We are called to stand among people who suffer as she did. We are called not to fix the suffering of people. We can’t control the suffering of individuals or nations. However, we can learn to listen, support, and befriend people most in need. The Christian community does not need to change people’s suffering into our image of healing. In other words, we can’t fix another person’s pain. We can only stand along the perimeter of such anguish and walk with people who need us.
I have found the richness of Our Lady of Sorrows by admitting my powerlessness. I have come to terms with my quest to control others and fix situations. I have learned to be present and open to my life, my faith, and the beauty of the people around me. I am still learning. I am still leaning upon Mary, who helps me let go of my false ego and enter the mystery of people’s lives. We can only discover the depth of Mary’s presence when we invite her into the powerlessness of our lives, parish communities, and even the institutions we serve. Mary desires to work amid our hearts, even when we push her aside, keep her in the past, or only allow her into our minds. Mary, Our Lady of Sorrows, desires to live in our hearts where she can truly offer us the consolation and tenderness we desire. Mary is not an academic quest or a flimsy devotion within our religious community. Mary is our way of life; she boldly desires to live in our decisions, ministries, and quest for love.
If we are to engage in the devotion of Mary, Our Mother of Sorrows, we open our hearts to make room for her to find us. If we reach out to her, she will find our needs, sorrows, and misfortunes. I have seen her in the various communities where I have ministered because we have engaged her name and her place among people with no earthly answers for healing or hope. Once we open ourselves to such devotion, she will make herself known in ways we have yet to imagine.
The wounds of Jesus were redeemed in his resurrection. Not all pain in our lives will be erased, changed, or healed. However, we can satisfy our hearts with God’s love and tenderness if we have the patience to name suffering, admit it, work through its consequences, and let go of our clinging to an outcome that comes from only our version of hope. I learned over again to surrender my inner restlessness, anxiety, and desires to control, and offer the weight of our anguish to the motherly embrace of the woman who walked with Jesus in his life of love and his moments of suffering.
Mary, Our Lady of Sorrows, you stood near the cross of your Son, Jesus. You stood next to him in each moment of his suffering. Mary, you could not change his suffering. You could not fix him or control the outcome of his pain. Mary, your presence taught you how to be patient for healing and to wait for Christ’s promise of eternal life. Mary, your posture toward suffering ultimately brought joy to the world. In the Cross of Christ, we find our eternal home.
Litany Response: Mary, Our Lady of Sorrows, pray for us.
Mary, Our Lady of Sorrows, stand among us, the suffering Body of Christ on earth…
Stand among the weary, the lost, the outcast, the prisoner, the empty, the lovelorn…
Stand among the mentally ill, the undiagnosed, and the immigrant…
Stand among the marginalized, the underserved, the houseless, and the criminalized…
Stand among us who weep in the nighttime…
Stand among us torn apart by dissension and rebellion…
Stand among us who hold tightly to control, pride, and ego-centric ways…
Stand among us when we claim only the past as our home…
Stand among us when our voices grow scratchy from shouting out against injustice…
Stand among us when wars rage…
Stand among us when indifference becomes our food…
Stand among us when we experience natural disasters and global violence…
Stand among us in unspeakable moments of abuse…
Stand among us when addictions threaten our futures…
Stand among us in our anguish and desolation…
Stand among us when grief overwhelms us…
Stand among us when we become weak with guilt and shame…
Stand among us when we bury a family member…
Stand among us when we walk to the graves of people who have taught us how to love…
Stand among us when we take our final breath…
About Fr. Ron:
Rev. Ronald Patrick Raab, C.S.C., serves as religious superior of Holy Cross House, our retirement and medical facility at Notre Dame, Indiana. He is an award-winning author, blogger, and visual artist. Learn more: ronaldraab.com
Art: Fr. Ron has painted many images of Mary, Our Lady of Sorrows, these past few years. These offer various artistic styles of Mary, who challenges us to be patient in our trials. These images may capture us in our need. Some photos may be too much for us to pray with, while others still do not express our human anguish. Ponder the variety and use the one that may speak to you to enter the mystery of Mary’s posture toward your suffering, your questions in pain, and your ability to be comforted in your struggles.
